In my Father's eyes

What do you look like to God?  Better yet, what does God look like to you.  I have read and heard a million times, most think of God being like their father.  If he was harsh and judgemental, then God must also be.  If he were kind and loving then God must be.  What if, your dad, chose you? For me, I see a God who is just, disciplinary, who loves deeply, gives his time selflessly but most of all he chose to do these things.  He did not have to but he did.  Sometimes when you are thinking wow, God chose me, he adopted me, and he loves me. 
     This is how I see to men, and really these two had to learn this love from another their fathers too.  Then I see the girls lives they have effected and think what lucky girls.  You see my dad, chose me and my brother.  He did that when he chose to marry my mom.  I guess he could have just loved her and kind of paid attention to us, but no he loved much and still does.  What an amazing man, to give his all even though their was no requirement.  From teaching us how to ride bikes and drive cars. More than that putting all his hobbies on hold to make sure he invested in our lives.  That is just what God does, he loves us unconditional. Hugs us, picks us up in all our brokenness and loves some more.  The second person I see this in is my husband.  Who chose to love not just me but our oldest daughter too.  He does not have too but does completely.  I did not come to this revelation until I was talking to her and told how lucky she is to have such a great daddy.  Then I thought wait a minute I am totally just as lucky! Most of all, through this God has revealed himself to us.  That he chooses us, because he loves us.  He gave his son for us.  He is a just and fair God. We might not deserve his love or even think it counts.  His love is patient, kind, loving, forgiving, slow to anger, and unbegruding. Whether we want it or not we got it.  What would life be without a fathers love?

Who is Eve?

When I say Eve what comes to your mind?  Eve's curse, Eve's fall, Eve, thanks a million! Usually when people talk of Eve, it always seems to point out her faults.  What about the rest of her?  Wife, Mother, Helpmate, Creation.  

Eve, was the last thing created, not the oh by the way.... But here is the finishing piece.  What if she is to be the piece De Resistance.  The crowning piecee of God's creation.   Even more importantly she was created in the Trinity's image.
                      "Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the creatures that move along the ground."  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:26-27

She was beautiful! So are you. Second she was created with a purpose.  Have you ever noticed that before, God gave Eve a job.  A job which now is not so highly looked upon. No the less this what she was created to do, ready.
                 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
                   Then the LORD God made a women from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."  Genesis 2: 22-24.

There you have it, she was created to HELP her husband, she was his HELPMATE. Which brings the next point up, God give her the ability to influence her husband.  Just like we too have the ability to influence our husbands.  Really it is our choice shall it be for good or harm?  Will you help or hinder?  Eve, sweet Eve, chose unwisely and listened to outside influences.  Do you know anyone who would allow the world to influence the way she treated her spouse?  I do, I am guilty of allowing worldly opinions to seep in now and again.  Then, what to do?  Blame someone or admit.  Lets not Take Eve's route her lets just say forgive me.

                    When the women saw the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband , who was with her, and he ate it.  Genesis 3:6

Wow, she did it. She let the serpent (world) influence her.  Which she used to influence her husband.  What can we learn from this? 
1. The only true place to gain wisdom is the Bible.  It is full of wisdom. Want a fuller marriage, help raising your children or just need some advice. Check it our you might just be surprised. 
2. God gave you to your husband not to nag, lead else where, tear down; but to lift up, stand by and help.
3. When you listen to everyone but God, there will be some trouble ahead.  It might not be immediate but it will come.
4.  Eve was beautiful, created to help Adam, she was there to influence Adam, she is the mother of us all.

It is really our choice you know will we use our roles as helpmates for good or bad.  Will we seek wise counsel when we are trying to help our husband or will we seek others for that counsel?  Help mate is such a dirty word isn't?  I don't think there is anything demeaning in being placed in some ones life to help.  Helping means you also lean on.  So you can walk through life and enjoy each other. If Adam was meant to go through life alone without help, she would have never been created. Neither would have we.  Eve needed Adam as much as Adam needed Eve.

In the the light of day, I can say, Yes I am a daughter of Eve.  She was so much more than we think, and so am I.  I may fall but seeking forgiveness is much better than placing blame.

Speechless...

Last night, I just was blown away in amazement.  Not of nothing new because it is something that happens pretty regularly.  When you pray be prepared to know who God is.  He is wonderfully amazing, humbling and loving.  Just to know He hears you all the time even when you don't think He is, He IS.
      Lets go back two weeks, on a Wednesday, I was searching Christain book stores and regular ones, for a Bible study I could do on my own. Because, I thought in this season of life I was not going to go to a group Bible Study.  Well, none stood out, none said pick me.... So what do I do? Pray, pray for wisdom and guidance for which one I need to do.  Fast foreword to Tuesday, I have a feeling, I need to go to the Bible Study starting the next day.  I of coarse like Gideon like to challenge God, (really, I am it's God why test Him).  So I Wednesday (one week ago).  I tell God, well if I am supposed to go to Bible study this morning.  I need to have completed school with my two youngest by 9:15am so I can shower and get my oldest stuff together.  We finished at 9am.  Okay we are going to bible study.  That evening when I was doing my homework, and praying I asked God again what kind of Bible study do I need to do on my own, what do I need. "You need Jesus".  Is what I felt in my heart.  I knew exactly what He was talking about, I had seen a Bible study by one of my favorite teachers.   Monday this week I bought it.  Last night when I was doing my first night of homework for my group Bible study, then finished with my Jesus, both ended the same.  Asking essentially the same question!  How does He do that! I was well, in tears.  How great is God! How amazing, all knowing, perfect is He.  In the light of Day, He never stops amazing me.

When life is just....

      In the light of day, what does your life look like.  Is it everything you dreamed it would be? Is everyday wonderful? Are you June Clever? Are your children perfect all the time?  If your life looks like mine then probably not.  Life sometimes can just swallow you whole, eat you alive and then you have nothing left.  But on the outside, you have all these blessings.  Some daily, some moment by moment, but they are all Gods, he gave them to you.  But you can not grasp it, you just feel, just.... There is a lack of something that is really there.  But where is it?  How in the world did it become invisible? How in the world am I in this place?  How can I know Gods there but not feel him.  How can I see all He does daily but not here him.  How did I get here?  Do you have these moments, days, weeks or a month?  Where you are here?  I have a secret, I am. I have been here and seeking God, I see Him, and hear Him, but sometimes I can not feel Him.  His Peace, His presence, His arms around me, His reassurance.  My list is long, my heart has ached and with much prayer and much time with Him.  He met me in the most wonderful place.  Running, I know you are like really? running?  Yes, because I find it easier to focus on God and talk to Him, then worry about my pace, the pain in my legs or shortness of breathe.  So yesterday while seeking Him and asking again, why and help.  He said sssshhhh, and there was a complete and totally quietness and calmness in my soul.  I love scripture and when I find comfort in His words, they are sweet, comforting and loving.  I cling to them when I find myself in a self induced blah place.  Even though I may not know where it is in the Bible, I know it in my heart and I can say it to myself. 
      So in the light of my day I found God right where He was supposed to be, but I some how was not where I was supposed to be.  What do you do, when you find yourself like I found myself?  Do you seek God more or search else where first.  In the Light of Day what will you do? Where will you turn? Who will you seek?  How long will it take for you to seek Him?

Just a thought

      In the light of day, what if I said, well I believe in God and what he has done for me, but I am not giving anything up.  In fact I might just twist it so it can appear Christian and I therefore can feel better about the whole thing.  After all there are all these rules I have to follow.   I really don't want to follow these rules or guide lines.  God just needs to fit my life.  I am certainly not going to follow His.  Wait?!!? What?!?! Are you Serious?!?! 
         So this is what I said....I believe in God, but just enough to get by.  I really don't want to die to self and live a new life.  In fact I am going to put God in a box, and pull him off when I need a little help.  Really He is a pain in my butt, but I don't want to be titled something other than a christian something that I really am....
        Why in the world title yourself something you are not?  Why do you want to keep God in His God shaped box and never let him guide you in life?   Do you know that although God is abounding in love and is full of grace and mercy, He is also full of judgement.   If you read the old testament, even just the Major Prophets God, tells you HE tried to get them (you or me) to listen.  We chose not too.  We chose HIS just wrath.  
        I want to take a look at one of the wisest, richest men in history.  God said ask me for anything and it is yours.  He asked for only wisdom, God gave him much more.  His name was Solomon, David's son, who replaced him. Solomon had one little problem, he loved his wives....Yep more than one, yep all believed something different. So he but up alters to different Gods and led, his wives, family and people astray.  But he loved God.... Well that is the old testament and to be far for those who are "new" testaments believers, here is a new testament passage.  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'  Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!'  Matthew 7: 21-23
              You see it is easy to say you believe in God, and Jesus.  But are you sold out to them?  Does your life reflect there life or their instructions.  Enough with the excuses.  We know them all the world is all around us, and if it is okay for so and so then..... Well, if they jumped off the bridge would you?  Yes, there are many things around you that look fun are fun, would be fun.  Are they really fun? Bring you a false peace of mind.  Is it really bringing you peace of mind?  After all we are only human. Yes you are, there is someone who knows that already.  Stop! It is my choice as well as yours.  What will you choose today? 
              One of the most idiotic things I have ever heard and have watch destroy generations of people is "Well kids are going to do what kids are going to do."  Like all of the sudden grown ups are afraid of their own children.  Get over it, you are going to do what you are allowed to do.  If you let them do x don't be surprised when y happens.  If you say you are Christian but don't do Christian things, don't be surprised when Jesus says to you He does not know you.   So in the Light of Day, what will you do?

First day of Fall and a Deck

In the light of day, every thing becomes clearer.   Have you ever noticed that?  You can see things for what they are. What an amazing blessing about life.  In the the Light of Day and the first day of fall....I was out on my back deck, we have a had a super hot and dry summer, Especially September.  Have you ever noticed what happens to the wood on your deck when its hot?  It shrinks, well all the moisture leaves it and the gaps in your deck become larger.  You may have placed them right next to each other when you built it but time takes its toll.  What if your marriage is like that deck, when you get married you are really close, you don't like to be apart. But as time (heat) is added to your marriage you slowly put space in your marriage. How do you keep the heat in your marriage with out causing the gaps?  As time goes on people change, are you choosing to change with your spouse or are you choosing to change without them.  Each going there own direction.  Lets face it in this busy life it is hard not to become disconnected.  Whether you work at home or out in the world, your spouse is doing the same thing, working.  Both tired, exhausted at the end of the day.  Sometimes at whits end, not wanting to do anything involving conversation or anything else. (here comes that bad dry heat) Why not stop while your behind.  Turn off the TV, talk for a few minutes, make an effort to spend time with the one you love.  Make a date night, before you say I need a babysitter or blah, blah blah.  Who said your date has to be outside the house?  What about pulling out a board game, card game or watching a video together, snuggle up and love on one another.  Life and marriages take work.  Work today on closing the gap, not making it wider.

Worship, Who, What, Where, When and How?

Worship! Who, what, where, when and how; does it really matter?  Well does it? Yes and no, yes well no, umm I am not sure.  Well if you haven't noticed I like blogging about what God has placed on my heart and in my mind.  Sometimes the blog post come fast and sometimes my heart needs to be prepared to share.
     This time it is about worship, does it matter the form in which we worship God?  Aren't all churches the same, are not they all preaching salvation? Yes, some do.  However some believe that there is more than one way to heaven.  I am not focusing on these churches today, I am going to focus on the ones that believe that there is ONE way to heaven, that is through Christ, who died and was raised on the third day.  Forgiving all sins for everyone that will believe. 
           Who are you worshiping?  Like I said hopefully you are worshiping God the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  What are you worshiping, I pray it is not a what but God. 
Where do you worship?  Did you know there is more than one way to do it and more than one place you can go?  Some enjoy and grow in a traditional Catholic Mass, yes I said CATHOLIC MASS.  Why? are they not included in the "Christian" family? Because some of them go to church just on Christmas and Easter? Maybe because they have some many rules.  Did you know that the basis of their Church is still the trinity? What about all the Baptist, Methodist and Lutherans etc. That only go to church on those two holidays too. I dare say that anyone that just chooses  to go to a building "church" just twice a year is probably not really saved. 
       When do you worship?  Is it on Sundays or Saturdays?  Is it maybe in every step you take.  I like to tell my children God takes time for you every moment of every day, I hope you will learn to do the same.  Life, your very life in all you do should be a type of worship to God.  Work, play, cleaning, cooking, helping, exercising all of it. Breath Him in and out.
      Finally, how do you worship. Why, do people chose to or not to go to a place to worship God corporately?   Because they like the way that church worships God.  What if, a Catholic walked into mass only to find people dancing and waving flags as they were praising God?  What is a Baptist walked into church on Sunday only to find it replaced with mass? Ridged and full of rules?  Wouldn't that upset you if you were going some place for one type of worship just to be forced to accept another?  Or fairly enough, my family was invited to a different church to celebrate their dedicating it to the LORD.  It was beautiful worship services, it was also very, very different to what we are used to. But it was how they did it, in their church.  That is very differently than being told to change or you reject Christ.  Some actually enjoy old Hymns, some enjoy contemporary music, some enjoy mass, some even enjoy jumping and dancing in the pews.  It isn't about the type of worship it is about the heart and who you are worshiping.  Who, says you have to change the message or type of service you go to get something out of it?  Maybe change doesn't need to be the style maybe it needs to be the heart.  Bottom line though people are not going to go where they don't feel free to worship they way that brings them joy and glory to the Lord.  I pray you will find just the right place.  If you are seeking I pray God will lead you to the right home.

Empty.....

My old life I would describe as the following.  Lacking, empty, not complete, broken, un-loved, missing, gaping hole, bland, grasping at strings, searching but never finding.  Lacking, although I might have seemed to have it together, with lots wonderful friends, a beautiful daughter and a great family my life was still lacking.  Empty, not complete, broken, un-loved, gaping hole is how I could describe the condition of my heart again, friends, daughter and family my heart was all of these things.  Bland, missing, searching but never finding, grasping at strings was my mental and emotional state.  At a glance you might have seen any of this in my life, even if you really knew me you might have not known.  I was lost, beyond lost.  Totally submerged in the world around me.  Doing everything I could possibly do with out getting in to much trouble.  Knowing there is a God but convinced he hated everything about me.  I mean he totally just opens up the sky and bad things would happen over and over.  I mean why was my life not going just the way I wanted to?  Boyfriends sure didn't fill the lack of love I seemed to be missing.  In fact they kind of numbed me for a while but did not fix it.  Partying like a rock star, was a lost cause.  That became very dull by the time I was 23.  I still went out had fun, drank and partied but in the morning my life was still not any fuller.  I just had a hangover, oh boy!  Then I started trying different exercises...maybe Yoga or one of these things could complete me....No, still nothing! It would work for a while then I was back to the beginning.  Searching in-ward, to find me.  Finally, I thought well nothing else is working, might as well try God.  I went to mass every Sunday with my daughter, I still wasn't getting it.
    You see when you seek God with only half of you, or just part of your heart.  You still can not experience life.  My problem was I knew that there was a god, but I didn't know God.  I knew enough to blame him for my bad choices. They were still mine, made by my free will. He did not make me do any of it, but it was still His fault.  Let me stop here and make a little side note.  Every action and has an equal and opposite reaction.  Science taught me that in elementary and middle school.  Does it really apply to all life? Yes, every part of life.  So was it God's fault? No, it was all mine.  Do good parents discipline their children? Yes, how much more did God love me?  More realistically how could He possibly love me?
     Sometimes the bottom is a good place for you to be.  The only way out is up.  Sometimes to be entangled in a large web, nest or knot is a good place to be.  The only way to escape is to be still.  Silence! "Be still, and know that I am God;" Psalms 46:10a  My problem wasn't my lack of friends or that I wasn't a good enough.  My problem was I didn't realize who or what I was.  More importantly I didn't know who God was.  "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalms 139:14  If you knew that little secret, that God, made you! He made you wonderfully.  That you are not a mistake, there are no oopses when God is in control. In fact.. "My frame was not hidden when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Psalms 139:15-16.  He knew my days, my life had a plan, I was here for a purpose.  
   During my searching for God, but not at the same time.  He sent me a man, a husband who knew full well who God was, and where life came from. Where emptiness becomes full.  In fact he saw something in me I had no idea was there.  NO! My husband is not where I found fulfillment, I love and he is the one God made for me.  However I could never ask or demand that he (my husband) be where my completeness comes from.  There is no way any one could ever fill that position.  Nor could my children complete that task.   
   Finally, I with a lot of prayer from my sweet husband God, made himself known to me.  I finally understood, that life comes from him alone.  That through Jesus, who died over 2000 years before, did that for me.  ME! How much had I grieved God before this, yet his love was deep enough to pull up and still love me.  By Jesus dying and rising I have life.  I think when you have full knowledge of what you have done and could be still be doing.  Embracing Christ becomes more of a Sunday thing.  It becomes life, all the way nothing lacking, empty, incomplete, missing.  I have sought and found, my heart is full, not even a little hole left.  Does this mean my life won't have trials? No, then I might forget where my strength comes from.  No, life might not be perfect in the worlds eyes.  But it is perfect in God's and that is perfect in my book.

How much is too much?

  Tuesday of this week during my oldest bible lesson, we read one of the most profound statements, I have read or heard from anyone.  We were reading about Samaria being under siege. The opposition surrounded the city and the Israelites inside were starving....They were eating doves dung and donkeys heads.  The King would walk around the city walls in his royal robes everyday.  While doing this a woman came to him and asked for his help.  "Help me, my lord, yesterday a woman came to me and said, kill your son today so we might eat and tomorrow we will kill mine.  She has hidden her son."  The King tore his robes and there was his sack clothes. For those who do not know they would wear sack clothes when they humbled themselves before the Lord. When they were mourning. 
   This King however did not humble himself completely before God, he chose to continue to wear his regular clothing.  How often do you yield to God completely?  Is is every Sunday, Christmas and Easter (those holidays are actually all about God not Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny), when you are really in a bind, when something bad has happened in your life?  Why is it okay to submit to God just at these times and not the rest of the week, year or your life? Is that the kind life really acceptable to God? Since He created you to worship and serve him, I think not. Are there benefits to knowing God? Yes, his unconditional love, his time and patients, mostly being in his presence.  Does it mean your life is going to be easy? Absolutely not, you will still have life trials and he does not promise to be cake walk. 
   Have you yielded completely? Or just in the some things you really need help in? The profound thought or question I have for you is has your "Church (the building not you) became a social club where men talk about football and the women exchange recipes." I will take even further, is the place you worship where you try to keep up with the Jones' and God is there but not the center of your life or focus?  Are the messages watered down to "draw" more in?  Is that what church is supposed to look like.  God has rules, try your hardest he understands... Church attendance is down and we are losing a lot of young people not because it is not fun enough, not cool enough, or does not play the right type of music.  Church in America's problem is the lack of God in the places we gather to worship, watered down messages, and mostly God has been kicked out of every public place; schools, work, government.  How can you expect to grow the next generation of Christians when for twelve years five days a week, they are taught a worldview that does not line up with the Bible.  When truth is relative and not absolute.  Mostly Christan's are looked at as intolerant, hypocrite, freaks.  Why are we looked at this way?  Could it be the life you are leading? Are you a Christian one day a week and hiding God under your clothes the rest of the week?  Why?  Stop living two lives live one. So what you if you are labeled a freak. Intolerant, because you believe in absolutes, big deal, I would much rather believe in an absolute God and be absolutely wrong, then disappoint the one who created me. Made me just so, for this life I have been blessed with. 
  So what are you going to do different today? Maybe you are already living the life you should, most of us, myself included, have hidden things we need to work on. Yield completely today, and the rest of the year. See what God has in store for your life and your family's.

Where does your strength come from?

I can do through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything prayer and petition...
Phil 4:6

Do you remember the story about Jesus walking on water and Peter saying "Lord if its you, tell me to come to you on the water." "Come." he said. And Peter went but about half way there he did what? Began to sink.  Why? Jesus has the answer.  "you of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" 

    Well, why do you doubt? Better yet why do I doubt?  Why in somethings I am completely confident in the Lord and others, I have faith but not complete faith?  Even when, I know all the promises sometimes I find myself very fearful. 
     You might even know I am but, but I am trembling on the inside.  When I am with peers, whew! Tough place to be.  The whole time I am thinking about things that so should not matter.  You know like, do they like me? Do my clothes look okay?  What are they really think about me?  Really no offense but do those things really matter. No, I am sorry they don't.  The only people I need to be worried about what they think is God and my family.  I am doing what I need to for those people.
   Others things I have been doing practically my whole life, like teaching swimming lesson.  Are they really learning, I am doing this right?  The answer is yes! Quite doubting yourself.  This is a God given talent. I am I doing my best, wait is what I said really wrong.  Well, there is a saying if you are going to be wrong, you might as well be confidently wrong. 
   As I was watching my sweet oldest child, doing something she has done for over half of her life, she still had that shyness, that fish out of water look. I felt bad for her.  I wanted to tell her, be commanding in your presence.  Don't doubt yourself! Get out there, and do it.  But then, I look and see me. I want to run out and tell all my secret promises I know.  She knows them well, I share them often. 
   There is comfort in a God who strengthens you in your weakness.  There is peace in a God who has planned your every step for the day.  He knows what we can handle, and what we can not.  He will never leave us, with something to hard.  It might seem utterly and impossible, but that is where you and I need to say.  Stop, I know I can do this through him who strengthens me.  I all things, not just the tough stuff.  But every step is done with help, from someone.  Do you know who that someone is? 

Religious or Faith? Or is it life?

   This is something I have been thinking about for a while, as I prayed through this and talked through this, I have come up with my answer.  Some people call others religious when they talk about being a christian or any faith based group, and in fact the most recent time I was called religious it was not meant as a compliment, but I took as one anyway. Is it really being religious when I could not imagine one moment of my day, without thinking about God or  talking to Him?  My faith actually effects how I live daily, it is not something I do twice a week and the rest of the time put on the back burner.  To live my life, the way I want to. It is the exact opposite, I love God so much that why would I separate the two?  There are many things you could be religious about running, reading, exercise, football, and even church.  But is doing something "religiously" the same as having faith or living daily life? 

   The Pharisees, Levites and the Sanhedrin were religious. On the outside they did everything right.  The went to church, tithed, fasted, obeyed the law, prayed out loud.  When you looked at their life you might want to say wow.  But their hearts were different, on the inside they were lacking one very important thing, faith. For them the rules were more important, when Jesus healed some one on the Sabbath, what did the Pharisees want to do? Stone him for not observing the Sabbath.  Do you just only observe the "important" Christian holidays, or  all of them?
     Mary, Martha, Lazarus, and the disciples to name a few had true faith.  They believed in their heart Jesus is Lord.  That he was the Messiah who came here to earth to save.  They changed their lives and way of life to follow and obey Jesus' commands. This is faith.  This is the way, I pray my life, husbands and children's life will be, and look like.  It may not be the most popular choice but it is ours. 
    Faith is much more than religion, it is believing in what you can not see.  Trust there is purpose for your life.  You were made to worship in all the things you do every day.

What is an Idol exactly?

Well, what is an idol? "Any thing on which we set our affections; that to which we indulge an excessive and sinful attachment." Yes, the last two words are sinful attachment. How can you possibly have a sinful attachment to something. Or better yet how is this sinful? Deuteronomy 5:8-10 tells us this, "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jelous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." While I find many interesting points in these three verses lets stayed focused. It is sinful because God said you are to have no idols, because He is God, and jealous. Well this great I don't have an image to bow down and worship I am good, you may be thinking. What was the defination though, any thing we set our affections, indulge excessively. Hmm, well I must be honest, I am very quick to point out others idols. In fact it is very easy in a college town when bussinesses close on saturday for a football game, and re-open sunday. While many tell me I don't understand, its football. I think I do understand. What is my idol you might be thinking. I will tell you and in fact this was not clear to me until this afternoon. Mine takes the form of exercise, laugh if you will, but as I was running this afternoon feeling good I got my run. I started to begin to think, that when I don't get to I ping. I stress out, I tend to think about it more than God. It consumes my thoughts. Upon realizing that this has taken an unhealthy turn I have decided to quit. Ha ha ha no I didn't, I confessed I might have an idol, on my hands, okay I do have one. It went from something I enjoyed doing, and in fact loved because, I would talk with God while I was running. To something I needed to do, even had to do. Some how I switched gears, which was a very subtle slow switch. So what do I do? Confess, tell God, I am sorry. Start over, make sure my first love who is God remains in first. To all things in my life, to my husband and children, to all I do. Have you ever noticed sometimes the subtle hills are the hardest to go back up? With prayer, this too shall pass. My love will remain.

The myth, the legend, ME time....

What about it? What about me. When do I get to do my thing. Why can not I do what I want too? Well can you here yourself in there or not. When I had just got married, I thought great I love this but, where did I go? Then two more children after the one we already had, I thought hmm, when do I get to do my stuff. I mean after all I am home all the time and all the time with my children, no time for me. Pretty soon I really started to resent my family. I did everything for them, and I never got a break. Where I went they went, what I did they did. I begged my sweet husband for some me time. The problem was he worked about 60-70 hrs a week to support us. He wasn't getting me time either, but unlike me he never complained. You may be thinking but he at least leaves the house, you are home ALL day. Guess what, I thought that too. Not thinking that he might not love what he does are that he thought of himself lucky.
Then one day, I was reading an article about this exact same thing in a home school magazine. The mom felt the same way, until she had lost a child and it changed her perspective a little on life. While thankfully I did not loose a child I did take note and learn. Where in the Bible do any of the women have me time. They have God time but not me time. This me time is a selfish, man created thing. Is it important to have time to step a way yes. Is it a necessity? No. It is a gift. When most girls are little the one thing they want most when they grow up is what? To be a mommy, a wife have a family. But when we grow up and get what we really wanted, is it what we really thought it would be?
For example most people think of a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) as a lucky women, getting fat and watching soaps all day. If you ask SAHM what their day is really like I don't think you will find she has time for either. Let alone herself. Same thing with the working mom. Both have little time for themselves. The problem arrives when you think you need time for your self. Did God give you a family to sit in front of a TV, computer, XBox, Wii or any other thing for you to pay little to no attention too? Nope! He gave you this family to grow and love. In fact raising a family, being a wife, and a mom, is the exact opposite of selfishness. Because it is all about serving the ones you love. If you don't love to serve, you better start to learn.
My days have gotten so much better since I stopped focussing on what I wasn't getting, and how everyone else (or seemed) was getting this thing called me time. But on what I did have, 3 beautiful children and a very loving husband. How lucky can a girl get?!? When you start looking at your family as a blessing and a gift that is special just for you. Life is so much simpler and better than before.
Bottom line die to self, and find a new life worth dancing through.