Every good and....

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..."James 1:17

 

    I love this verse in the Bible you can apply it almost to every part of your life.  Whether you think of your spouse as a good and perfect gift, or the job you really needed; the one that fits you perfectly.  The perfect used car that you didn't have to go into debt for.  Your health, your youth or maybe your age, wisdom, and of course your children.  They are always the perfect and good gift from above. 

     I think one of the most precious gifts though, is time.  It is something that you can not obtain more of, it is something that you don't even know how much you will have or with whom you will spend the least or most time with.  It is something you can squander, it is something you can wish there was more of.  The truth is you can not have  more of it, wealth will not provide you with more or less.   It most certainly is something that is gone in a blink of an eye.  Time is something God set in the hearts of men.  No other creatures knows or understands this concept.  Some things only live a day or two others last years and centuries. I do know that is fleeting and it is something I am guilty of wasting at times.  I sometimes miss the time I have to spend with my spouse and my children, wanting quiet instead.

    This weekend I received two good and perfect gifts.  One was the ability to have enough money to take my girls to Mother Daughter weekend. The second was the time to spend with my girls.  You might say I "get" to spend all my time with them as they are home schooled.  You might even be thinking  a better gift would be alone time.  Well, I do spend the majority of my "time" with my children.  Sometimes, I think, quantity is confused for quality time.  Yes, the majority of my time is with them, but somehow, sometimes I miss the quality of the time  in the midst of the quantity.  I mistake/take for granted that I spend so much time with them.  I miss who they are and who they are becoming.  I take the "I have all the time in the world" attitude.  Instead of the "thank you for this time and day with these gifts you have given me" attitude.  If you are thinking that maybe I should work and then I would find the time.  Oh, but I have.  I have worked and ran between activities and crashed exhausted at the end of my day.  I still would have and did mistake quantity for quality.

    Whether you have boys or girls investing in their lives is one of the most important things you and I will ever do.  I loved this past weekend, it was a good reminder that my girls are growing up and how very different their personalities are.  One loves shopping, art, home made facial/spa treatment and pools.  The other I think would be Laura Croft if that was possible, shooting riffles, using a bow and arrows, climbing trees and a ropes course make her smile.  Although they are different in so many ways they are still my girls and even have a few things in common.  Like horse back riding, rising to a challenge, being competitive and loving their momma (even if one will not speak the words out loud).  My Laura Croft even danced with me!!! Shut up I know right? She danced the whole thing of Cotton Eye Joe, that is love.  I also got to teach them how to play four square, I forgot how fun that game was.  I am pretty sure there are a lot more rules than their used to be too.  I was reminded of their creativity when we went to arts and crafts.  I also saw how three bird houses could look so different and the same at the same time.  As I smiled at one, she asked why I was smiling at them.  Simply because they delight my heart, was my answer.  I also learned in my time with them what a lucky mom I am.  I have two very unique, sweet and kind girls I have. 

    This last thing also showed me what kind of mom I am.  That apples do not fall from trees.  That in the midst of the time I spend with them they also pick up things from me.  They need to be reaffirmed on who they are and who they are created to be.  I didn't need a camp to tell me this or show me this, I just needed a little reminder that they are who they are because of the time invested in their lives.  They will either be affirmed or discouraged, by the time spent with them, each of them.  My son included.  Will the time I spend with them now, encourage them to grow into who I know they could be?  Will they learn to respect others and love others?  Will they mimic those around them or lead others to be different?  My Laura Croft is a beautiful young lady, who not only spent time with younger children, not impatiently but with kindness in her heart.  Enough so for the younger girls to tell her that "I thought all fourteen year olds, were supposed to be jerks."  Her response was "I didn't know that."  She is responsible enough to go and shoot riffles on her own (supervised of course), and when the councilors sought me out; it was to tell me that she was amazing and very mature, awe shucks.  My  fashion diva, is not with out courage and perseverance.  She will try anything, even though she is terrified of high places she chose the room on the top floor.  So she could work on going down steps, so she won't be that afraid of the stairs anymore.  She climbed thirty feet up a tree, to do the zip line.  Not fast like my Tomb Raider, slowly pausing and letting everyone know she had to get her courage up.  She truly is like Sara Noble.  Once to the top she sat for a minute and got her courage up to zip down.  She shot her arrows until she hit the target and the arrow stuck.  (ten rounds five arrows each round) That is perseverance.  Her jumping into the freezy cold pool (it was heated to a balmy 78 degrees).  She also has a very good knack for understanding, retaining and learning new information. She loves the outdoors and Gods creation she recognizes that it is Gods creation and it is very special.  Finally,when they want to, they get along very well.  That they even will encourage each other. 

     This time I will not get back and next year we can not relive it.  It was a gift and a blessing from above.  This is the time to whisper into their lives, to remind them how very important and special they are.  That they are indeed; unique and created with and for a purpose.  In the end, the time and love you spend is the love you will get in return. 



Describe yourself

Describe Yourself

  Ready set go, in three words describe yourself.  Don't hesitate and think about it, what words immediately come to mind.  Don't ask your spouse or your friend sitting next to you. What words came to your mind about you?  Kind, Loving, Mother, Father, Brave, Warrior, Humble, Encourager, Friend, Fun...Oh the list is so long there are tons of adjectives to describe you.  How about me? Would you like to know the my three? Oh, I know you said yes.

  Prideful, Idol Worshiper and Killjoy.  What? Its called honesty.  You see everyone has these things in their life.  The key, is are they controlling your life? Are they what drive you right now?  Maybe, "You have pushed them into a wee little corner and you don't even see them anymore." Maybe, "You have them under control." This my friends, is my problem.  I put them in a wee little corner, I hid them well, I got this. That would be the pride part.(But not the first definition it was the forth in definition in the Webster's Dictionary) Conceit:arrogance Um, no, there is the problem.  I don't got this. Putting away not to deal with, is not a good idea because it ALWAYS shows up again. Maybe, God didn't want me to hide it, He wanted me to deal with it. I wasn't ready to, not mature enough, not strong enough and of coarse, I got this.  I didn't have it. I never did.  It is my idol, not something I worship but it consumes me. More than anything.  That is the definition of Idolatry. Blind admiration or devotion  When you become, prideful and worship an idol, its only a matter time before you become a killjoy. One who spoils the enjoyment of others  When something consumes you, when its all you think about/want...you (I) become no fun. Laughter is harder to come by, smiles are too. Throw out your (my) capability to wing it or be a joy to be around. 

  In fact when your loved ones mention you might have an idol and your response is denial. No, I don't, I got this. When your husband tells you exactly what that idol is...hmm. What do you do? Do you, like me continue "to get this"? And for how long? How long will you allow your thing to control you? Do you fall on your knees and ask God for help immediately? Or wait, a week, month, year? YEARS?

  The longer I waited, the harder it was to release...Even a week later, I am just now writing this blog. You see part of releasing my idol is telling you about it.  About, my pride...my idol...my lack of control...how I am perceived.  

   My pride and killjoy naturally came to ahead, a month ago.  God has blessed us, with a fantastic new job, we have beautiful healthy children, I have an amazing husband, we live in a state park, we have a sweet old lab who suns in the driveway. I have everything I ever wanted. WHY, then I am I so miserable, on the verge of tears constantly?  Why, can I not embrace all that has been given to me? Last week,  while I was listening to a song on my iPod. Sometimes you may hear the song, other times you listen to the song.  It was a song about being beautiful, captivating, to be adored.  She was looking in the mirror, I imagine. But talking to God.  She (the singer) wants to be these things to God.  Here is where I thought to myself well, she will never be these things to God because she is not those things to herself.  Whoa! Stop.  She will never be those things to God because she is not those things to herself...Wrong she is exactly what she wants to be to God.  He created us in his image.  He makes perfect human beings every time. In all shapes, sizes, colors, sex, personalities...Perfect every time. Her desire to please God, is not one that she needs to work at, because she is  already beautiful, captivating and adored. There is only one person who did not find these qualities in her. That was herself. I could blame worldly/outside influences, but when it comes down to it. Its just me and the mirror.  What do I see? Am I, what I see in the mirror, or am I more? Is there more than meets my eye? 

   I love exercising, I love the way it makes me feel.  I like eating healthy things.  I even enjoy running.  I like to encourage others to be the best them. To rejoice with them when they reach their goals. Not to covet them. Not to say, Erica you should try harder and you could look that way too.

  I have a problem, I don't ever seem to be who I think I should be. I am never enough, I am never just right in my own eyes. My idol, is me, well my appearance anyways. I will never be satisfied with how I look, because it will never be enough.  There will always be someone to compare myself to. My standards, will never be reached. They will always change, to be a little less or if only I was that size instead of this size....5 more inches and I will be perfect (or one of my daughters). If only my hips weren't so big. Oh my list is so long and depressing. Where did I come up with the perfect me? That, I am not telling because then I would be blaming someone/thing else for my little monster.

  I know what my idol is, great my problem  is solved.  No, because like I said before, this little creature has been hiding in a corner, dying for some attention.  Tada, it said here I am.  So instead of taking a break from exercise or eating healthy, I am going to do this different. I am giving it to God.  Not just once, daily or hourly if need be.  That is not enough though, because I need to learn to tell myself three words.  No matter what I see, no matter how I feel about myself.  Those three words, you ARE beautiful.  You ARE worthy.

  This is not something that I get to stop here with my post. Most of all it is to meet with God at his feet, to listen to his words, to spend time with him. To except my husbands compliments and say thank you, not your so crazy.  Both God and my husband see me for who I am.  Now it is my turn. I will never be who God wants me to be until, I let go of this lime stone.  Until I burn this idol into ashes. My God is so big, so strong and mighty...there is nothing My God can't do.