R-E-S-P-E-C-T

  I love that song by Aretha Franklin, you know Respect.  What a liberating song.  Let me remind you of the lyrics if you are not already singing it.  "What you want, Baby I got, What you need, Do you know I got it, All I'm asking is for a little respect..." Why is that song so loved by women? Because that's what we want, but what about what we need?  That would be a Beatles song, "Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. There is nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game It's easy...."  So which do you want? Both, right? Which do you give your spouse?
   Lately, I have noticed a plethora of those "funny" cards on Facebook and other media sources slamming husbands and men.  To be honest I giggled the first few times. At first glance how innocent, but the more I see them, the more my heart aches and is grieved by them.  Especially, when the women are "Christian's" or even worse in ministry and disciple younger/other women. We poke fun at our spouses privately but now we are publicly humiliating them as well.  If you are like most your spouse is typically your "friend" on Facebook.  You don't think it hurts their feelings to see their spouse and most often their best friend post those "funny" cards where it shows the man lacking in some area.  Would you say it about your best "girl friend"? Oh, we are all guilty of it and it is after all in fun. STOP! What are you whispering into his heart? What are you saying about his character? Worse yet, what if he said it of you?
  At the very bottom, the core if you will, of a woman is to be loved, cherished, desired, to be the soul winning beauty in a mans life.  We search for it while we are young, if we are lucky we find someone. Who loves, cherishes and desires us. We in fact crave it all our life well after the dating and honeymoon.  We yell it out loud LOVE ME! We cry ourselves to sleep when we feel unloved. What about the core and very being of a man?  What do they need? To be honored, respected, trusted, to feel like the protector and provider of his home.  That is how God created us both, one desires love and the other desires respect and honor. 
   When we post our "funny" little cards, we are crushing his spirit. You are saying to his very soul you are not enough. You are not a man. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." - Ephesians 5:23 If you don't like the word submit, get over it, it is not a potty word and it does not mean you are weaker or that he is better.  It means to trust his judgment. Respect him enough to follow and not lead. 
  Three verses later it states the following; "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her... In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself."  -Ephesians 5:25&28 As a wife, how then can you expect your husband to love you, if you are not doing your part?  How can you demand something that you are unwilling to give? You will never be loved the way you want to be loved and treated the way you want to be treated until you give your husband what he needs; Respect and honor.  If you want to be loved deeper, then honor and respect him more. 
  Somewhere during all the "Women's Rights" movement we as a society have decided men are useless and unworthy of our respect. We decided honoring, obeying, and submitting were potty words. Because if we did these things, we showed weakness, that they (men) were better than us. Some might even think that means we are unequal(gasp). Well ladies that is fine, you don't have to honor, respect, obey or submit to them. Why do expect them to love you? Why do you get what you want, and crush his spirit? You can not crush your spouses spirit and get love from him at the same time.
  It is not that we are unequal, we are in the sight of the Lord. However we are different, we were put together and wired different. One was made to crave love, the other honor and respect.  When we honor, respect and yes submit to our husbands, we get what we need; love.  Life is so much better when you are loved, cherished, when you know that someone is captivated by your beauty.  It is hard to see how captivating we are when pure ugliness spews from us. Why would you want to walk around broken hearted all the time? When you could be loved?
  "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must RESPECT her husband." - Ephesians 5:33  It is not actually a suggestion it is a command.  We MUST RESPECT our husbands.  If you want the love, show the respect.  Who knows all those things that you think he should do for you, or should help you with, he just might. If you respect him.